Intro

It can take time to gain the confidence to travel solo.

I’ve been traveling independently since 2013 when I decided to travel abroad to Accra, Ghana to study at the University of Ghana at Legon. I didn’t know anyone there, but I went, had many transformative experiences, and came home a changed, more cosmopolitan version of myself.

Since then, I’ve traveled solo to many places, domestic and international, and am always chomping at the bit to do it again. However, this isn’t a common feeling; so many women I’ve spoken to since 2013 have said some variation of, “I can’t imagine traveling on my own!”

Well, I’m here to be an example and teach others how to travel alone safely while learning all they can about what they’re made of. 

Why travel solo?

Well, why not travel alone? Sometimes, something is done only if you do it yourself.

Say you plan a trip with your friends or maybe some relatives. You buy your tickets and accommodation, but the other attendees’ plans never make it out of the group chat. Are you going to continue to wait, possibly forfeiting what you’ve already paid, or will you let yourself down because you’re too afraid to have the experiences you want in your life, fellow travelers be damned? 

There are ways to get yourself to the point that solo travel isn’t as terrifying as it might be today, which could take some time. But you can do some of the following things in your neighborhood, town, city, or state, which can increase your confidence enough to get you into your first-class airline seat headed to some exotic locale:

Steps to Solo Travel Confidence

Safety first!

Safety is one of the paramount concerns family members and friends have shared with me when I’ve shared how often I’ve traveled solo. Of course, something is always happening in this world, whether it’s across the world or in your backyard. Knowing this, there are ways to prepare yourself for safe solo travels. 

Choosing safe places to go is one major way to head off any trouble; find areas of town that are known to be safe for any of your adventures, whether in town or overseas. You can also choose to pack items that can increase the chance of your safety, like specialized door stoppers, and you can choose to use things like the hotel safe to keep important documents like your passport safe (after taking photos of them with your phone, of course).

Another underrated safety tactic: Wherever you find yourself, act like you belong there. Don’t act like a tourist with your phone out and an easily snatchable purse. Some people even go so far as to buy specialized fanny packs that they can easily hide.

Here are fifty other ways to ensure your safety on your solo trip. 

Make a decision

Deciding to do something, no matter what others think, isn’t always easy, but when traveling alone, the first step is to decide that you will live your life on your own terms. 

Of course, loved ones may be concerned for your safety and well-being, but you can’t allow their fears to stop you. I have an aunt who refuses to travel and has told her daughter many times of all of the dangers that could befall her. 

Luckily, she didn’t allow her mom’s fears to stop her, allowing her to take solo trips to places like Morocco. 

Deciding that you want to solo travel and beginning to put your plans into place will give you a lot of confidence to carry you through everything that has to happen for your trip, and return, of a lifetime. 

Outside of this, there are further steps you can take. 

Practical steps

Eat dinner solo, in public

Did you know that a lot of people in this world can’t or won’t go out to dinner on their own? They see a person eating alone with a book or a phone and feel pity, thinking that they couldn’t get anyone to go with them. 

Because they feel like this, they don’t want to do the same things, out of fear that others will project the same fears onto them. 

However, this is a limiting belief that’s keeping them from living their lives on their own terms. 

For example, when I was up in Blackhawk, Colorado, I took a break from gambling with my brother and decided to go to dinner at the casino’s restaurant. 

I had a lovely steak Oscar, and I felt a set of eyes watching me. I turned around to see a fellow gambler looking at me with pity, and she told me she could never comfortably eat alone (side note: she was eating and gambling alone).  

I sat there and spoke to her, telling her about my journeys and comfort in doing things alone. By the end of the dinner, she paid for my food and I left her behind. 

Part of solo experiences is the willingness to speak to others, and who knows? You might change someone’s mind and/or get your dinner paid for. 

Go to the movies alone

Like eating out alone, going to the movies alone can inspire the same kind of pity from others, but with the added benefit of their whispers being drowned out by the movie you’re all watching together. 

Years before I had the inclination to hop a flight going all the way to Ghana, I saw a lot of movies on my own at the local movie theater; I even ended up doing the same thing overseas, taking taxis from campus to Accra Mall to see After Earth.

After the movie ended, I took another cab back to campus, which stopped at the front door of the international student hostel. As I readied myself for bed that night, I felt my confidence increase, giving me the courage to finish the whole experience.

Having the willingness to go anywhere alone will increase your confidence, and if you do either of the two activities enough, you may start to work up to the ability to travel alone to another town or state.

Going to another city or state alone

San Diego, CA

I’m a California native, and sometimes I feel like going back home to touch and see the shoreline; I often feel this way as an adopted Coloradan, but other family members here might not have the time or money to go back with me. I have a habit of going solo anyway. 

One day, I decided to book an entire trip to San Diego because I knew it was warm and beautiful by the shoreline, the opposite of late fall in Aurora, Colorado. 

I used Expedia to book a hotel room at Humphrey’s Half Moon Inn and a rental car. 

Thanksgiving week was gorgeous, and I made sure to explore as much as I could, from riding in an amphibious vehicle (link) to walking around Seaport Village to taking a day tour with San Diego Rides and Tours to multiple places like La Jolla, Old Town, Balboa Park, and Hotel del Coronado, doing my best to take in each experience with the delight of a brazen tourist.  

Glenwood Springs, CO

One day I decided that I wanted to spend Spring Break in Glenwood Springs, CO, which any Denverite could reach by taking a four-hour road trip or an eight-hour ride on Amtrak’s California Zephyr.

I took the second option and reserved a hotel room across from the train station and a few minutes from Doc Holliday’s gravesite.

I arrived a few days before the fourth of July, simply because I’d never had the experience.

Glenwood Springs is gorgeous, sitting right on the Colorado River, with lovely hot springs dotting the area. I didn’t go to any of them, but I plan on doing so in the future. 

From Denver, I’d reserved a coach ticket, which formed an interesting contrast from Glenwood Springs to Denver. In coach, I found the space allotted for seating much more comfortable than a coach seat on the average airline. Yet, the bathrooms were unsanitary and I had to pay for lunch. 

But, I found an accidental travel hack that allowed me to come back to Denver in a roomette. I received an email a couple of days before I was to return, giving me the option to bid on an upgrade, and I bid $200. I saved so much money!

They accepted, and I was able to pick my space. Days later, I sat comfortably, watching each river and each canyon pass by right outside my window as if I were on a road trip. The amenities with this ticket also included access to a private (and immaculately clean) bathroom as well as dinner.

The next time I receive an upgrade email, I’ll seriously consider bidding again. 

Going international alone

Ghana tales

As I mentioned earlier, traveling alone from the Denver area to Accra, Ghana was my first taste of solo international travel.

I prepared for the trip with my school’s representatives, as well as the host organization in Ghana, making sure that my lodging and flight were coordinated well before I got on the flight. When I arrived at my layover in Frankfurt, I met students from other schools from all around the US, knowing that we were embarking on an interesting experience together that would change us all in different ways.

After peers from our host organization picked us up from Kotoka Airport, they drove us to the International Student Hostel on the campus of the University of Ghana.

Over the next six weeks, we went on a tour of Accra, which included stops at the W.E.B. DuBois house, large markets, and James Town, as well as trips to visit Kwame Nkrumah’s official storyteller, Ada Foah, Kakum National Park, Cape Coast Castle, and Kumasi, (which included the most interesting zoo experience I’ve ever had on the way back to Accra).

While on this trip, I got to know quite a few people I kept up with for years due to the experiences we shared, and I learned a lot about the world and myself. I would have missed out on all of this had I decided not to go because no one else could come with me. 

Thailand…and how plans fell through

In January of 2016, I was looking around on Groupon and I noticed that they had a travel section.

Before this, I only knew Groupon to offer lower-cost oil changes, massages, and other goods. After looking around, I found a ten-day, all-inclusive trip to Bangkok with Affordable World (formerly known as Affordable Asia), which also included a flight from San Francisco to Bangkok, with a layover in Taiwan.

This trip included hotel rooms, and city tours in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Ayuttaya, with all meals included outside of room service. I excitedly shared this link with my cousins and talked about it for months.

Unfortunately, I ended up going solo because I’d paid for the trip before I learned that they couldn’t join me. Because I’d already been to Ghana, I knew that I could handle another trip alone overseas. So, because I’d fought through my first semester of graduate school, I decided to go anyway (to also avoid losing my money). 

After traveling from Denver to San Francisco, I took an eight-hour flight to Taiwan for a layover at their gorgeous airport, then went on to Bangkok. After the tour guide picked up everyone from the group, we took an hour-long bus trip to our hotel.

The next day, after breakfast, we started with a tour of Bankok’s popular temples, and a lunch on a riverboat. The day after, we visited the markets and took a river trip on small boats.

Later, we went to Ayutthaya to visit the burned ruins, followed by a banquet lunch near the Bridge of the River Kwai (after some learning about the tragedies that occurred there). A few days later, we moved on to Pattaya, where we stayed at a lovely resort.

One night, I even decided to go to a ping pong show with some other tour members (but I probably won’t do that again). After all of this, we returned to Bangkok to prepare to go home. I loved this trip and I’ve suggested it a lot over the years.

Despite the extra $400 I had to pay because I traveled solo, it was so worth it and I’d love to go again.

Reflect

After each trip, whether to dinner or Thailand, I found my confidence increased. I asked myself questions like: 

• What did I learn about myself? Themes of resilience, curiosity, adaptability, leadership, and communication appeared repeatedly. 
• What does it mean that I was able to go someplace so different from my home, enjoy the experience, and return? In this life, sometimes my self-concept is too small for what I’m capable of. I found myself in places where English was the third language, even though that was the only tongue I had at the time. Yet, even with those limitations, my instinctive skills always kicked in, enabling me to have beautiful experiences, though often complex, every time. 
• How can I help others see that they didn’t need to wait for others to enjoy their one splendid life? This question came much later, after having conversations with others who expressed their fears about traveling alone. That’s part of why I started this blog, as well as the desire to tell stories and show how we’re all connected, despite what some would have you believe. 

Reflecting like this allowed me to internalize each experience and lesson while increasing my confidence for the next experience. 

End

The ability to travel alone isn’t something that people are born with, but there are ways to learn how to do it safely and enjoyable.

Start with dinner and a movie, and you’ll be braver than the average person, working your way up to weekend trips to other cities and states. Then you might find yourself booking a trip to an all-inclusive resort in Liberia, Costa Rica (more on that, later). 

Let me know in the comments: Where would you like to go on your first solo trip?

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